Conference Call Background Sounds That Require Some Explanation

As you probably don’t know, ungentle reader, your humble narrator has taken it upon himself to participate in triathlons at his advanced age because something in him seeks out hobbies that are even less pleasant than his daytime job.

So I have recently acquired a Volodyne 5000 Volumetric Exerciser to try to improve my lung capacity.

My thinking is that I can increase my lung capacity which will make me a better athlete and able to focus not so much on how my breathing hurts when I’m swimming, biking, or running, and that I can, instead, focus on the important things, such as how much I hate swimming, biking, or running.

So it sits on my desk, and every so often, I take a couple minutes to use it. If you’re not familiar with such a device, basically it measures how much you can inhale at any given time, so to use it, you inhale as much as you can and hold your breath for a couple of seconds.

Which sounds kind of like something else.

So I am afraid I’ll use it when my microphone is not muted on a conference call and where video is not enabled.

Ah, well, as I always say, it’s best not to explain to the other callers what is going on. Let their imaginations go. Cat fight on the desk? Continue talking as though nothing is happening. Maybe they’ll think it’s someone else on the call.

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