Archive for the ‘Fun with job postings’ Category

Someone Is Unclear On What “Manual” Means

Friday, December 4th, 2015 by The Director

Job posting for a Manual Test Engineer:

Job duties:

As our Manual Test Engineer, you’ll ensure that our customers have a great experience when they use DataRobot. You will do this by developing and executing comprehensive and robust software validation tests (both automated and manual); including large datasets, advanced features, custom options, heavy usage, etc. You will also manage an external testing team and testing plans to align with our current customer use cases. This is a great opportunity for you if you’re detail oriented and driven to provide excellence within every customer interaction.

It’s a great opportunity to work as a senior QA engineer or manager with an entry-level title and, perhaps, pay.

Like Every Michelin Commercial Ever

Tuesday, January 27th, 2015 by The Director

Job posting:

A developer's job in an auto garage?

Can improved automobile tyres really make the world a better place? Should we trust developers the one to change the tyres?

To be honest, probably better than me: the last time I changed a tire, I cross-threaded two of the lug nuts and then snapped one of them off (with only a lug wrench, sir; I was motivated to remove that bolt). BECAUSE I BREAK THINGS.

It Won’t Last

Tuesday, January 11th, 2011 by The Director

Apparently, Clockwork in MN is looking for a QA intern. It’s only in a testing intern that you can even hope to find this trait:


Nice QA.  Don't bite me.
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I’ll take “2 weeks” in the “How long until they break him/her” pool.

We’ve Got Answers, All Right

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010 by The Director

An interesting split of job duties in this job posting:

You want the A?  You can't handle the A!

Testing and Q&A. I’m not sure if you’d be responsible for the answers or the questions or both. Maybe it would be something fun like Jeopardy! where you get answers and you have to provide the questions. I should apply. I love Jeopardy!

Wait, it’s a Q&A Analyst. Maybe you just have to score Q&A sessions, maybe in realtime. The CEO holds an all-hands meeting, and you sit in the back flashing number cards with every obfuscation he dissembles.

Zombies Preferred, But Not Required

Monday, April 26th, 2010 by The Director

This job posting says alternative health/lifestyle is a plus:


An alternative health/lifestyle sounds a lot like death.  Or undeath.
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I mean, what’s the alternative to health? Undeath.

Be A Tiger

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 by The Director

Finally, someone has a QA job whose title I approve of:

QA Maneater wanted

However, they left the e out of Maneater.

(Sent in by reader Dave H., who presumably sent it in because the careless job poster misspelled the title, not because omitting the hyphen in the year spans makes it look like they want someone with almost six decades of QA career behind them.)

Pays in D&D Loot

Thursday, February 11th, 2010 by The Director

You know you’re in for a wild spelling ride when you’re looking at a job posting for a Web Contruction / Editor Analyst, and the job listing does not disappoint on that score.

The best part, though, is the compensation:


Plus you get experience points!
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You get experience points, too? Awesome! You’ll finally get to 18th level Tester and can think about multiclassing.

Craigslist Backlash Targets Single Company

Thursday, January 28th, 2010 by The Director

In Springfield, Missouri, the Craigslist designers are ganging up on one local company.

1:

 Attack 1
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2:

Attack 2
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3:

Attack 3
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You know, I once worked at a dysfunctional company.  No, I mean crazy dysfunctional.  It was run by a guy named Bob who went from selling printing services in the 1970s and 1980s (like business cards and whatnot) to building PCs in the 1990s.  He was a scatterbrained, power-drunk mad professor with no technical skill or business acumen.  His wife and a couple of employees loyal to his wife, who also worked there, kept the business afloat.  Bob would rant and rave at employees, he would fire people at the drop of the hat (one woman brought in doughnuts every time she was fired).  And I caught on in 1994 as a Clerk Friday, which meant I did some shipping/receiving, some filing, some accounts receivable (violating many Federal statutes given my training–“Here’s a printout of late customers.  Here’s a phone”).  The fellow and I once had an argument about my name, as he addressed me as Mark repeatedly and was confused when I corrected him.  Then he fired me, and I didn’t come in to work for the celebratory doughnuts (since the woman was fired the same day), and he called me at home to ask where I was.  We argued about whether he fired me or not, so I quit.  “Without warning?” he asked.  As you can tell by this run-on paragraph, I still get riled up about it.  Also, it makes for some interesting asterisking if I’m ever asked if I’ve been fired.

So these kinds of companies can stay in business for years and decades.  What a world.

Also, it makes me wonder what sort of market I’ve moved into here where good Web designers, or at least self-confident Web designers, start at $14 an hour.

More Craigslist Backlash

Friday, January 22nd, 2010 by The Director

In addition to another response to the St. Louis job listing I noted yesterday, we find another case of Craigslist backlash in Minnesota today.  Is it cropping up everywhere, or are my loyal Minneapolitano readers joining in the fun?

First, the job posting:

$200, same as in town, as long as that town is Lahore.
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The riposte:

I know what kind of designer you are; now we're just haggling over price.
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To misquote Dwight Yoakum, apparently the responding designer ain’t that hungry yet.

But I wouldn’t expect to see that small company become a larger company anytime soon.  One wonders what the full time salary would be if each project is $200?  Maybe since their Web pages are served, they would go for the waiter minimum wage.

Another Case of Craigslist Job Posting Backlash

Thursday, January 21st, 2010 by The Director

In the St. Louis area, another job seeker has lashed out at someone looking to hire.  In this case, someone specific.

The job posting:

 Looking for a Flash developer.  Or are they?
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In the interest of full disclosure, I have had some dealings with the recruiting company in question, and, boy, they sure are recruiters over there.

The riposte:

You're measured words convince me.
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In which the $60 an hour designer, or the person who would be a $60 an hour designer if anyone hired him or her, shows a stunning grasp of the English language.  It sure left me speechless.  Let’s see, what is that, 19 grammatical mistakes in the rant?  I’m only skimming here.

Sounds like a lot of designers.  Put them words in your pretty Web sites and see who notices.  Probably nobody in IT but the QA you cannot afford since you’re paying the designers $60 an hour.  Or would if they had their way.

UPDATE: The next day, the following response to the response appeared:

Retribution?
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The recruiter, the friend of the recruiter, or another catty designer?  You decide!

Exciting Job Opportunities

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010 by The Director

I think some HR people and consulting recruiters already have a little cabin fever in Minneapolis.  Two recent job postings seem to indicate something ain’t right.

Job 1: A combination Web developer/shipping and receiving clerk/delivery driver:

 Oh, wait a minute - do I still get to be the janitor?
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Job 2: A Java development position whose consulting company recruiter is only phoning it in.  The headline of the job posting is Date Resource:

Sounds like an escort position of some sort.
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The lede:

Date resource is required: 01/11/2010

Anticipated end date: 05/30/2010

Location: Minneapolis, MN

The vendor is expected to thoroughly screen the candidate to ensure the Self Assessment form is accurately filled out. We have little patience for candidates who have overstated their skill level / experience We are looking for a highly qualified Web Services developer to join an on-going Wachovia, Wells integration project.

Note the admonishment to the recruiter that he or she should pay attention.  You know my position on recruiters, particularly those who post on craigslist.  You are in good hands, applicant.

Hey, speaking of bad craigslist ads, here’s a whole blog of them: You Suck at Craigslist.

I Know The Feeling

Monday, January 4th, 2010 by The Director

Someone else trolling craigslist jobs postings reacts to the common postings for jobs requiring 10 years of skill out of part time interns and offering a bit lower than the prevailing wage:

But if it's $12 an hour Canadian, these days that's real money.
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Sadly, I fear this person reads the craigslist job listings as serious and expresses his frustration at not being able to find a job through these listings.  I hope this poster’s pride doesn’t lead to starvation if he cannot find a job with the salary he thinks he so richly deserves.

Me, I troll craigslist job postings just because they’re funny for the very reason stated here and because they’re often rife with errors that I can make fun of for your amusement.

Craftsman Experience Required; Hammering Nails, Cutting Wood, Not So Much

Thursday, December 17th, 2009 by The Director

I was reviewing this job posting, and its skills required list touched lightly upon one of my pet peeves:

 Skills:

Quality Center
Clear Quest

I hate job postings where they require detailed knowledge of a particular brand or flavor of QA software.  Instead of focusing on the underlying skills that the tester will need, organizations focus on the superficial.  It’s akin to a job as a home remodeler being predicated on whether someone has experience with Craftsman tools versus Kobalt or  Black and Decker.

I know why that junk is in there: so HR interns can winnow some people out of the crowd.  However, it also winnows out skilled people who worked at places with smaller budgets and elevates lesser applicants who worked for comparably-budgeted QA departments, particularly when any of the big packages are named as required.

World Record For Typos In Ad Recruiting QA?

Monday, September 21st, 2009 by The Director

Could this be the world record in typos in an ad recruiting for quality assurance people?

At least they spelled QA right.
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Given that the recruiter misspelled 3 of 50 words, that’s a 92.5% success rate.  Acceptable!

Also, note the hourly rate: $27-33.  Don’t be fooled.  That’s -6.  He expects you to pay him six dollars an hour for the privilege of acting as his personal spell check.

Internet-Enabled Grill Required

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009 by The Director

If you want to combine software with barbecuing, we have a job for you:

It doesn't say whether the grill should be hot or not
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(I know, they probably mean the AWeber e-mail software package, but that’s not what it says, is it?)

Well, They Have Software Architects, So Why Not?

Thursday, August 6th, 2009 by The Director

In Minneapolis, apparently they’re looking for software carpenters/remodelers:

A step up from software maintenance man, one presumes.
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But you know what?  I start out every morning with a brief internal prayer of “If I Had A Hammer” myself.  Except we don’t get to verses about songs or bells, and it’s Thor’s hammer I’m wielding, and….

 

Three Bullets In The Fountain

Thursday, July 30th, 2009 by The Director

In a cast-a-wide-net e-mail from recruiter, I note three distinct bullet styles:

Variety is not the spice of quality.
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We have:

  • Hyphens (-)
  • Xs
  • No bullets

I love the amount of conscientiousness spent here trying to woo a quality professional.  You know how they say that when you interview with a company, you’re interviewing the company, too?  Well, I say when you send me your documentation about a job, I see your resume.  And I’m not going to call back something this rife with errors.

Because this recruiter would no doubt take as good of care of Applicant 9748 (that would be me)  as he did of Blast E-mail 298.

Pays In Exclamation Points

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009 by The Director

Off topic, but here’s an ad on Craigslist for a Technical Writer:

Maybe those are supposed to be 1s, but the caps lock key is on.
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That many exclamation points might indicate:

  • The bar for writing excellence at this employer is very low.
  • There is a slight danger the subject matter experts will add exclamation points to manuals.

Personally, that many exclamation points in three sentences makes my teeth hurt, and the only remedy I have is to read the sentence in a Waynesworldian fashion, substituting NOT! for each exclamation point:

We are looking for a Tech Writer to join our team-NOT!

We All Have That Experience

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009 by The Director

Job listing asks for relevant experience:

Yessir, we do that daily
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You know, they might mean Point of Sale, but they might mean the other.  And we all have experience with that, hey?

Perhaps they should have followed the best practice of spelling out words before using abbreviations.  But the simpleton recruiter suffers from the same hubris that designers and developers (and some defect writers) do:  you know what I mean syndrome.

English: Optional! (Have Someone Read You This Job Posting)

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009 by The Director

A job posting asks for someone who can speak two languages:

Arabic and Urdu required.  English: Nah.
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This bilingual job candidate needs to speak Arabic and Urdu.  In a bilingual speaker, that leaves no available slot for English.

But the posting goes on and points out that actual QA knowledge isn’t required, either, so we’re not dealing with the most literal or logical of employers anyway.


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