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I’ll take “2 weeks” in the “How long until they break him/her” pool.

Testing and Q&A. I’m not sure if you’d be responsible for the answers or the questions or both. Maybe it would be something fun like Jeopardy! where you get answers and you have to provide the questions. I should apply. I love Jeopardy!

Wait, it’s a Q&A Analyst. Maybe you just have to score Q&A sessions, maybe in realtime. The CEO holds an all-hands meeting, and you sit in the back flashing number cards with every obfuscation he dissembles.

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I mean, what’s the alternative to health? Undeath.

However, they left the e out of Maneater.

(Sent in by reader Dave H., who presumably sent it in because the careless job poster misspelled the title, not because omitting the hyphen in the year spans makes it look like they want someone with almost six decades of QA career behind them.)

The best part, though, is the compensation:

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You get experience points, too? Awesome! You’ll finally get to 18th level Tester and can think about multiclassing.

1:

 
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2:

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3:

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You know, I once worked at a dysfunctional company.  No, I mean crazy dysfunctional.  It was run by a guy named Bob who went from selling printing services in the 1970s and 1980s (like business cards and whatnot) to building PCs in the 1990s.  He was a scatterbrained, power-drunk mad professor with no technical skill or business acumen.  His wife and a couple of employees loyal to his wife, who also worked there, kept the business afloat.  Bob would rant and rave at employees, he would fire people at the drop of the hat (one woman brought in doughnuts every time she was fired).  And I caught on in 1994 as a Clerk Friday, which meant I did some shipping/receiving, some filing, some accounts receivable (violating many Federal statutes given my training–”Here’s a printout of late customers.  Here’s a phone”).  The fellow and I once had an argument about my name, as he addressed me as Mark repeatedly and was confused when I corrected him.  Then he fired me, and I didn’t come in to work for the celebratory doughnuts (since the woman was fired the same day), and he called me at home to ask where I was.  We argued about whether he fired me or not, so I quit.  “Without warning?” he asked.  As you can tell by this run-on paragraph, I still get riled up about it.  Also, it makes for some interesting asterisking if I’m ever asked if I’ve been fired.

So these kinds of companies can stay in business for years and decades.  What a world.

Also, it makes me wonder what sort of market I’ve moved into here where good Web designers, or at least self-confident Web designers, start at $14 an hour.

First, the job posting:

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The riposte:

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To misquote Dwight Yoakum, apparently the responding designer ain’t that hungry yet.

But I wouldn’t expect to see that small company become a larger company anytime soon.  One wonders what the full time salary would be if each project is $200?  Maybe since their Web pages are served, they would go for the waiter minimum wage.

The job posting:

 
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In the interest of full disclosure, I have had some dealings with the recruiting company in question, and, boy, they sure are recruiters over there.

The riposte:

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In which the $60 an hour designer, or the person who would be a $60 an hour designer if anyone hired him or her, shows a stunning grasp of the English language.  It sure left me speechless.  Let’s see, what is that, 19 grammatical mistakes in the rant?  I’m only skimming here.

Sounds like a lot of designers.  Put them words in your pretty Web sites and see who notices.  Probably nobody in IT but the QA you cannot afford since you’re paying the designers $60 an hour.  Or would if they had their way.

UPDATE: The next day, the following response to the response appeared:

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The recruiter, the friend of the recruiter, or another catty designer?  You decide!

Job 1: A combination Web developer/shipping and receiving clerk/delivery driver:

 
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Job 2: A Java development position whose consulting company recruiter is only phoning it in.  The headline of the job posting is Date Resource:

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The lede:

Date resource is required: 01/11/2010

Anticipated end date: 05/30/2010

Location: Minneapolis, MN

The vendor is expected to thoroughly screen the candidate to ensure the Self Assessment form is accurately filled out. We have little patience for candidates who have overstated their skill level / experience We are looking for a highly qualified Web Services developer to join an on-going Wachovia, Wells integration project.

Note the admonishment to the recruiter that he or she should pay attention.  You know my position on recruiters, particularly those who post on craigslist.  You are in good hands, applicant.

Hey, speaking of bad craigslist ads, here’s a whole blog of them: You Suck at Craigslist.

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Sadly, I fear this person reads the craigslist job listings as serious and expresses his frustration at not being able to find a job through these listings.  I hope this poster’s pride doesn’t lead to starvation if he cannot find a job with the salary he thinks he so richly deserves.

Me, I troll craigslist job postings just because they’re funny for the very reason stated here and because they’re often rife with errors that I can make fun of for your amusement.